Sunday, May 20, 2007

Ladybug/bird/beelte many names many things

I was on the deck the other day and saw this and had to capture the moment in images in the wonderful late afternoon light. Having know the ladybug as a symbol of luck it was interesting at this point in time to learn this:

"Ladybug: The Ladybug is associated with spirituality and religious devotion. The name Ladybug originated in Europe during the Middle Ages, when insects were destroying the crops. Catholic farmers were said to have prayed to the Virgin Mary for help. Soon after, Ladybugs appeared and began eating the pests and saved the crops from destruction. The farmers began to call the Ladybugs “the Beetles of Our Lady” and eventually they were known as Lady Beetles. The Ladybug's red wings are said to represent the Virgin's cloak and the black spots her joys and sorrows.

The Ladybug is widely considered a symbol of luck and is seen as a good omen when it comes calling. In Sweden, it is said that if one lands on a young woman's hand, she will soon get married. In France, it is said that if you are ill when one lands on you, it will fly away with your illness.

Ladybugs are also considered to be symbols of fire and the Sun. Ladybug teaches life is short and it teaches to let go of ones' worries and fears, to trust in spirit and enjoy life. It brings the gifts of renewal and regeneration."


Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Bipolar Fun Fact #1 or, the trouble with joshua - He's not FUN!

I am not fun.

I am funny - downright hilarious at times.

I am fun to be around and there are times when I am having a lot of fun.

I find things funny. I like to have fun.

But to be fun is to be light - to live the moment in breathless wonder of each discovery while seeing the torrents and tedious steps as part of a joyful whole.

There are moments I am that piece of theory. There are moments of fun. But there is a lot of darkness around that fun.

I was dating a guy once and he said that one of the lessons he learned in life is to tell people when we are having fun with them. I sometimes forget to do that. Even when we are alone and catch ourselves having fun we should acknowledge it. For that is the moment we are looking for. Fun. Simple.

Sometimes the wiring in my brain gets so screwed up I don’t even realise it is until it reaches a critical mass. Critical mass can take many forms. Usually it means I stop having the ability to rationally understand the world around me. Everything takes on its worst form, craziest form, intense form, joyful form, darkest form or a little of each. That is the difficult thing about this thing it is always adapting and morphing.

I hit critical mass many times in April. Cleanup time.

Bipolar Fun Fact Affect – Relationships suffer.

Imagine all the craziness of a relationship and having in that relationship episodes of great emotional instability. That is NO FUN!! And worst is they are very unpredictable.

Every guy I have gotten to know recently talks about all the fun things they are planning on doing. Most of it involves a lot of travelling. I can travel but if I was to take a long and distant trip it would have to be planned with the knowledge that there will be meltdowns along the way. That is NO FUN!

Friendships suffer. My closest friends know and understand this illness a little. But there have been many times our time together has been robbed.

Nobody wants to be around someone who is not FUN! I don’t even want to be around me then.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Sakura in High Park

The Japanese celebration of Hanami centers around the delicate and beautiful cherry blossom (sakura) tree. The cherry blossom blooms for a very short while each spring. The windier the spring the shorter the bloom.

It is during this time you will see people sitting under trees having a meal spending time with nature.

The cherry blossom is a joyful symbol of life.